Trodden

I trod under the feet of elephants. Glimpses of sun, blue sky greet my sallow face. A breath of fresh air is granted before again, I am engulfed by the massive disk of a foot. I am too small, too insignificant to change my situation. I am trapped. I feel bound in my Sisyphus like cycle. How do we overcome our surroundings? How do we strive beyond the confines of our environment?

We are the drones. Forever caught in the confines society creates for us. Albert Camus puts it perfectly: "They (the gods) had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor." How then, do we keep the world populous from diving headfirst off of cliffs?

We find meaning. We know there is a purpose. Every drone is just a piece of the puzzle. If one piece is lost, the whole picture suffers. So we wake up every day, and get walking. Under the feet of elephants. Back to rolling stones.

And with this notion, I wake up and go back to school.

On the Bright Side of Things

From reading this, you must be thinking I lead the most miserable existence. This is far from the case. My life may be stressful, and there are still things from my past and present that haunt me, I am generally not a miserable human being. The problem is, I don't feel like writing when I'm happy. Putting my thoughts and feelings to paper helps me to cope with them. Seldom do I need to cope with warm emotions.

So to brighten the mood a bit...

Things have really been looking positive. As the summer winds itself to a close, I can breath a short sigh of relief before the fall brings on its wrath. I am done with my internship, and so very close to having my license. While I don't yet have my dream job, I am finding work that I know I will enjoy. I feel so very blessed.

While decisions I have to make concerning my future loom all too near, I am very pleased with my performance this past year. While filled with its ups and downs, along with some serious personal turmoil. I made it. We all made it. And we deserve to feel proud.

At least I know what makes me happy. What makes me feel good about myself. A person can't really be more blessed than that. I have found a path that makes me feel genuinely happy. And I am following that path, wherever it may lead me. I may not have my dream job, because I may not be entirely sure what that dream job is. At least not yet. And while the stress of making those decisions is a constant pressure, at least I am enjoying the journey.