So, I've decided that when my life hits a turn for the worse, I find ways to start completely over. To cope, I find something drastic, something crazy to do. Its how I get over things.
I'm considering joining the army. Or, at the very least, joining ROTC until i finish college. It could get me scholarship money. I'd have to pledge four years of service though, but I'd be an officer. They have programs that will pay for my masters as well.
Joining the military is something I never thought I would do. It's not something I ever thought I would even consider. But now, the more I think about it, the more appealing it is.
No one else in my family has or will serve. My dad had a medical exemption from being drafted, and my little brother also, would be medically exempt. I'm the only one in the family eligible to serve. The patriotic thing to do would be for me to represent my country and honor my family.
I don't know what to do. I want to talk to someone, but I have no idea who. I'm not scheduled to see a counselor for two weeks, and there's no one I can talk to. No one who would understand, who would listen.
I can't take any more abuse here. I've dealt with enough, and I'm sick of it. I'm tired of trying to be strong. I'm tired of trying to pretend like everything is okay all the time. Everything isn't okay. I'm falling apart on the inside.
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