The Biggest Obstacle

Tomorrow is the First day of paramedic school.
The next year of my life is sealed in school and clinicals and an internship. It's pretty damn terrifying if you ask me. I'm still full of doubts and insecurities. What if I'm no good at this? What if this isn't what I'm meant to do?

Not that I believe in fate. I really believe you can do anything you put your mind to, within reason. While teleporting and mind reading might be out of the question (for now...), your own mind is the hardest obstacle to overcome. The problem is, I haven't quite overcome mine yet. While I am confident in my skills, it's been a long time since I've put them to practice, and never with so much responsibility tacked on top.

I'm one of the youngest student in my class. If I get my license, I'll be one of the youngest paramedics in the state. Sometimes, I wonder if all the extra work I've done to get ahead was really worth it. Now that I've made it here, what if I'm not ready?

At least I've had some pretty kick ass back up. Everyone tells me I'll do fine. And I really hope they are right. When I'm freaking out, I've always had someone there to pick up the pieces of my panic explosions. I've got to get my nerves under control, or I will end up killing someone on the job.

While i'm no insecure ninny, I've never been the outgoing, overconfident kind of girl either. I don't seek ego boosts. While it bothers me when other people dislike me, I'm not all that concerned about what other people think. I just wish I could believe more in myself.

They say that you are your biggest critic. Hopefully, the critic in me doesn't slow me down.